If F1 Was Ruled By.. The Track Marshals

With the 2010 season coming to an end, I thought that it would be the right time to have a little fun!

They're the unsung heroes of the F1 world, who really control matters on track. So what would happen: If F1 Was Ruled By... The Track Marshals

1. What's with all these different flag colours? In the new world of the Marshal-plan, there would be just one flag -- a bright red one with the words "DO WHAT I TELL YOU TO DO" on it.

2. In the event that your car breaks down at the side of the track, under no circumstances are you, the driver, allowed to push the car. You must wait beside the car until we have finished discussing the nature of your problem, how a similar fate befell Keke Rosberg in 1982 and what we said to him as he flapped his arms in a furious manner as smoke billowed out the back of his car.

3. If a marshal waves a blue flag at you during the race, you MUST pull over. The fact that you are leading the race and the car behind has been lapped is irrelevant. We have waved THE FLAG.

4. If by any chance you are asked to sign a marshal's vest following a gearbox failure that has just ended your Championship hopes, you are NOT allowed to punch the marshal. This is very bad.

5. It shall be fully within a marshal's rights to empty the entire contents of a fire extinguisher over the engine and into the cockpit of your car, even if your race-ending problem was caused by running out of fuel. If you are still in the cockpit, it's still allowed.

6. In the event that a TV camera happens to focus on a marshal's stand he is allowed to wave any damn flag he chooses, as his mum thinks he looks very handsome waving flags on TV, especially that red and yellow one that everyone thinks is something to do with supporting Fernando Alonso.

7. Under new rules, any element of a car entered in the race which should become detached from the vehicle during said race is deemed salvage. In short, if it ain't bolted on it's mine. If the chief engineer wants it back he can bid on eBay just like everyone else.

I hope that you were able to have a laugh at some of the hijinks's that the track marshals have done to make for our enjoyment!